theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
