Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am available for nakedness
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
