I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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