i don't like sucking hair
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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