The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize