so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
