He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
