And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
