i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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