And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
