so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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