We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
