i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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