Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
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I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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