He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
