What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.