My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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