he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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