booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
All the doctor said was why
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
