Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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