A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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