Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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