Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
