wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize