yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize