Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
