btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
