Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
