Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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