yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
