Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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