Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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