i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
