Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize