How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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