if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
