i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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