The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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