hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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