A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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