K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
