Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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