Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
