when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize