they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
