dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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