he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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