i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you win again, gameday.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
