what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
