At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
