So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
