Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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