If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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