can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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